Howling
by elvengirl9
Summary: A collection of poems about Remus, how he feels, and what it's like to be a werewolf in general.
1. The Lone Marauder

**Disclaimer:** Remus Lupin does not belong to me.

The Last Marauder 

When his fate became tied to that of the moon,

He was helped by three friends, whose names,

Were Marauders Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs,

Known as Sirius, Peter, and James.

They nicknamed him "Moony," came through 'til the end,

They were happy, 'til Voldemort came,

Corrupting and murdering Remus' friends,

He is the only one who remains.

Is it not ironic, that they set him right,

And now he's the only one left?

He still stares into the dark of night,

Shedding tears for those he loves best.


	2. Moonlight

**Disclaimer:**This poem is for Remus Lupin, who is J.K. Rowling's. But the poem is mine.

Moonlight 

Moonlight,

Cursed beauty

Illuminates my cage.

The inner walls

Trapping my heart,

The life I once had

A dream of a distant past

Long forgotten.

This is my life,

I name it so,

So it shall be.

Forever.

That simple knowledge becomes myself.

Moonlight.

A small thing creating the walls past my dream.

Moonlight.

Choose to embrace it, for you will never be free.


	3. Why

**Disclaimer: **Again, Remus isn't mine. I just try to get inside his head.

Why 

Why is it that every life is unfair?

What makes it so?

Why is it that every man must suffer the pain of unnecessary burden?

And the innocence that protects us dissipates so quickly?

Why must there be things we must regret?

They say it's all part of being human,

But they never ask why.

And those who do

Are answered with the distant echoes of their voices.

And we can only ask:

Why?


	4. Guilt

**Disclaimer:** Remus Lupin is not mine. The poem is.

Guilt 

My face is clean, my tears are dried,

But my inner conscience torments me inside.

The reason's within me- the reason you died.

There must have been something that I should have tried.

Where I was weak, you were strong,

But your spirit had died while mine carries on.

I look in the mirror, and my face is drawn,

Why do I remain when you are all gone?

Is there some purpose I need to fulfill,

Or will I watch more deaths, knowing still,

You'd have stopped it, but I had not the will,

As this war continues, more will be killed.

If you all are gone, then someday I must follow,

My head seems so empty, my heart seems so hollow,

It's not in self-pity, but guilt that I wallow,

The fact that you're dead seems so hard to swallow.

Each step is heavy, because you're not there,

I still hope I'll find you, though I don't know where.

Life may be cruel, but I try not to despair.

If you're somewhere up there, please know that I care.


	5. Reflection

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Remus Lupin, but his poem is owned by me, I guess. I don't really get why someone has to own Remus. Can't he own himself? Okay, that was a silly question. Just ignore me.

**Reflection**

The figure in the mirror, it follows my moves,

The creased face is there, the young face it was.

My bleak reflection has everything to lose,

Just like its counterpart does.

Its blue eyes stare at me, of sleep there's a lack

It knows all my secrets I lock inside.

Everywhere I look, his face stares back

A forlorn reminder from which I can't hide.

Facing the truth, down to the last letter,

It's time to move on, I cannot stay dead.

Now my reflection begins to look better,

Reminding me that there's some hope ahead.


	6. Beast

**Disclaimer:** All people from Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. Not me.

**Beast**

There is a man, inside is a beast.

Two minds in a body; only one can rule.

One mind on human blood must feast,

The other, right now, himself feels a fool.

There is a man, inside is a beast.

All it took to change him was one simple bite.

The life which never begun now has ceased.

Of that he is reminded every night.

There is a man, inside is a beast.

His life is a story, his thoughts are a book,

But the pages are torn and the pages are creased,

And nobody now dares to come take a look.

There is a man, inside is a beast.

The mind the man reigns over, until full moon.

Then what was the most then becomes the least,

The monster inside leads the man to his doom.

There is a man, inside is a beast.

Inside is a lock, and he's missing the key.

For inside him, his life and heart is pieced,

But some pieces are missing, and always will be.

There is a man, inside is a beast.

The light of the moon makes the beast attack.

He is reminded, by the deceased:

The past is behind, you can never go back.


	7. Innocent

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill. Remus is not mine.

Innocent 

The fault is on naught, for no one can take blame,

The battles now fought are those full of shame,

A war full of innocents, of evils nonexistent,

When the good could give up, but still is persistent,

There is no evil, there is no good,

Just two inner beings where one should have stood.

Neither fully lives while the other is there,

But both have a burden heavy and unfair.

And one innocent must bear lies and burden of those died,

While the other's despised, and caged deep inside.


	8. Alone

**Disclaimer:** Remus Lupin isn't mentioned in this poem by name, but he's who I'm talking about, and if it's even remotely possible to sue me on that account, here's what's stopping you: Remus Lupin belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Alone**

I'm always alone,

Surrounded by friends,

The beast, it has grown,

The pain never ends,

No one is allowed

To know what has been done

To me, because now,

I'm two beings in one,

I'm alone.

I'm never alone,

There's someone inside me,

Though no one has known,

Except those who died- see

I'm a curse, I'm sure,

I know that I'm dying,

There isn't a cure,

I know, I've stopped trying,

I'm never alone.


	9. Insomnia

**Disclaimer: **I've been in poem-writing mode for a while, so you'll get lots of poems! By the way, insomnia is loss of sleep, in case you're wondering. Remus Lupin isn't mine.

Insomnia 

Everyone's in peaceful slumber.

I toss in my bed, awake.

I can't help being tormented

By all choices that I make.

I can't get over the fact

I'm blamed for something I can't help.

How many can say they know

Exactly how I've been, I've felt?

Under my tranquil outward calm

Is a fire, an inner rage.

Emotions almost make me human,

But my wolf, it forms my cage.

As I toss and turn, tormented,

I glance at those beside my bed.

The first to stay beside a werewolf,

Loyal after I am dead.

They cannot know, and yet they try,

At times, my sanity they keep.

There they lay in restful slumber,

And, in seconds, I'm asleep.


	10. Howling

**Disclaimer**: Once again, Remus Lupin isn't mine. And once again, he isn't really mentioned in the poem, but it's from his point of view. Whee.

Howling 

No control

Over me,

Nothing more

That I can be.

There is no hope,

It cannot last,

Not in the future,

Nor the past,

I cannot run,

I cannot hide,

I'm being watched

By what's inside,

I know the truth,

Not fair, but foul.

Look at the moon

And howl.

I have the burden,

Feel the pain,

The victim or villain,

To me it's the same,

I'm letting it out

In a form I despise,

I look at the moon

In my dreadful disguise.

The change that I hate,

It's happening soon,

The feel's in my blood,

The feel of the moon.

Every time I think,

I think of my bane,

I look at the moon

And I'm howling again.


	11. Almost

**Disclaimer:** Wow, I wrote a lot of poems. And, as you were expecting, Remus Lupin isn't mine.

**Almost**

Everything's almost the same,

Almost the blue, sweet sky,

Almost the same, bitter moon,

But not the same through my eyes.

Just enough, I can pretend

It's all just like before,

But though it's almost similar,

Without you, I'm not sure.

Sometimes, I look at the sky,

And see it's the very same blue,

And then you're almost back again,

For me, it will almost do.


	12. Dream

**Disclaimer:** Some of you told me I should write happy poems. This is about as close as I got. Remus Lupin isn't mine, though he's not really mentioned in the poem. But you all know it's from his point of view, right?

**Dream**

I dreamed a dream of a life beyond,

Of darkness far and werewolves gone,

A land of life, a land of friends,

All our travels have no ends.

And then, in moonlight's fullest hour,

We look at the moon with its mystical power.

See only the good, the evil forgotten,

The dream brought hope to a land so rotten.

But the happiest time was when I awoke,

When I found, from the simple words you spoke,

That the human is there, and the beast is at bay,

And my dreams aren't so far away.


	13. Lost

**Disclaimer: **It suddenly occurred to me how depressed I must seem to you guys, writing such morbid poetry. I'm really a nice person! Oh, well. Remus Lupin isn't mine, despite the fact that I really wish he was.

**Lost**

A fork in the road.

Which path should I choose?

It cannot matter,

I've nothing to lose.

Now I am lost,

I frown and I sigh.

Hoping for guidance,

I look to the sky.

There is the moon,

By which I am bound.

And I know I'm lost,

I can never be found.


	14. Forget

**Disclaimer:** Currently, I've run out of ways to make this interesting. Remus Lupin is still not mine.

**Forget**

Bathing in the sun above,

We're a circle of friends.

Our circle's of life and love,

And a circle never ends.

We might be different, that's okay,

Because we're also all the same.

We may be friends, that's here to stay,

But also brothers, save in name.

There may be troubles, fears, and doubts,

Challenges we've not yet met.

It doesn't matter, ins or outs,

Because, with friends, I can forget.


	15. Magic

**Disclaimer:** Nothing in this poem belongs to J.K. Rowling. That's right. Nothing! Not a thing! But the situation applies to Remus, and I wrote it while thinking of him, and it wouldn't be possible were it not for the brilliant writer J.K. Rowling. So it's a fanfiction, anyway. But the disclaimer doesn't really have a purpose.

**Magic**

Friends together,

Sunny weather,

Magic never ends.

Practiced not,

But not forgot,

All our trouble mends.

Not the kind

In conscious mind,

But found inside such friends.


	16. One Night

**Disclaimer:** I do have an ff by this name, actually, but that was a

coincidence. Well, not exactly a coincedence, because I could have changed the name of this one. But this was the best title I thought of. And Remus Lupin isn't mine. Even though his name's not in the poem.

**One Night**

Just one night,

Before I am caged again.

One night to run free,

By the light of the moon.

During my one night,

My freedom comes only from another's pain.

One night,

Barely any time at all.

And then my night is over,

I spend a month waiting,

For my one night.


	17. Test of Friendship

**Disclaimer:** Remus isn't mine.

Test of Friendship 

Secrets and lies,

They form my exterior,

Around such nice people,

I feel so inferior.

I'm lying to them

But the truth I can't tell.

I'm so afraid,

If they know me too well,

I'll be all alone.

That, I don't want,

I know you're my friends,

But really, I can't.

All these emotions,

Bottled inside.

Sometime soon,

Them all I won't hide,

The test of friendship

Is coming up fast.

Please tell me our friendship

Will last.


	18. Reaching Out

**Disclaimer:** I almost cried when I wrote this poem! Oh, and yeah, Remus Lupin isn't mine.

Reaching Out 

At first, I was holding in

My feelings, rage, my doubt,

But then, as good friends, you taught me

I could always reach out.

And then in the storms of pain and fear,

Problems after another,

When all seemed lost, we'd find hope-

We'd reach out to each other.

Now all my pain is closing in,

Now all my fears attack,

Because, now, I'm reaching out,

But no one answers back.


	19. Shadow

**Disclaimer:** Remus isn't mine. sigh

Shadow 

I run away, my shadow follows.

What once was light, darkness swallows.

If the sun is up, my shadow is there,

I hate its reminder, but it doesn't care,

Then my shadow goes, and the moon rises,

The beast inside, it sheds its disguises.

Moon or sun, it doesn't matter, I am never free,

Because now I'm just a shadow of what I used to be.


	20. Beautiful Moon

**Disclaimer: **This was written on the full moon while looking at the moon! Okay, I was a little bored...

**Beautiful Moon **

Beautiful moon,

I'm wishing there weren't another side,

And I could look at the

Beautiful moon,

And see only beauty.

None of the sadness.

Beautiful moon,

Wish on a star for the

Beautiful moon.

A wish I keep locked away in my heart and never let go,

'Til I'm howling at the

Beautiful moon,

And someone, maybe is looking at the

Beautiful moon,

And they see none of the sadness.

Only the

Beautiful moon.


	21. Smiling at the Moon

**Disclaimer:** I'm starting to get tired of typing... maybe I do write too much.

Remus isn't mine.

Smiling at the Moon 

I see the moon

It smiles at me.

Almost, it says,

I don't agree.

I look at the moon

With weary eyes,

I don't know my feelings,

I just know the lies.

I smile at the moon,

It smiles at me.

Our smiles are false,

Though no one can see.

It's no one's fault,

It's no one's crime.

I smile at the moon,

It's real this time.


	22. Fairy Tales

**Disclaimer:** I seem to write a lot of poems that don't mention Remus. But you know who I'm talking about, right? Oh yeah, Remus Lupin isn't mine.

**Fairy Tales **

Our lives are marked as fairy tales,

A library is filled.

But sometimes, our innocence fails,

All the words are stilled.

Some are empty, not yet written,

Some have never mattered,

But then, since when I was bitten,

I've felt worn and battered.

There came here an outside force,

From which evil was spurned.

In their wake, they left remorse,

Happy endings burned.

Innocence and happy books, so

Full of life and laughter.

But in my book, I have seen no

Happily ever after.


	23. Letter

**Disclaimer:** Remus Lupin and James Potter, the two characters mentioned in this poem, belong to the great and wonderful J.K. Rowling. If I could write something half as good I'd publish something and own it. Alas, I am not, and don't own anything except my computer.

**Author's note: **This is a poem in the form of a letter (hence the title.) The letter is from Remus to James, somewhere in the middle of the third book. It just popped up in my head and stayed there, so here it is. If you like it, review! If you hate it, review anyway!

Letter 

Dear James,

How do you do?

You won't believe how much

Your Harry's like you.

I wish you could see him

And cast off his shroud.

You'd be so happy, James,

You'd be so proud.

He's got your rimmed glasses

Around Lily's eyes.

Your hair cannot hide his scar,

But he still tries.

He's great at his classes,

Tell Lily he's fine.

He's got friends intelligent,

Loyal and kind.

He's Gryffindor seeker,

Snitches he catches.

McGonagall likes him

'Cause he wins their matches.

He flies with your gracefulness,

Flies with your style.

He's youngest House player

By many a mile.

But it's more than looks,

Or habits, or skills,

I just barely look at him,

And, boy, it kills.

I came here to forget.

And instead, I remember.

I think about it, James,

My mind it disembers.

He's just a young boy

Without a real home.

Thrice he's faced Voldemort

All on his own.

Can you believe it?

He's grown up so much.

He's not cold and lifeless

But warm to the touch.

He faces his fears,

And triumphs the bad.

He's so much like you, James,

And it makes me sad.

He doesn't know you now,

Lily's all but gone.

Happiness is in his friends,

Hermione and Ron.

You know that I miss you,

I hope you're okay,

I'm dropping this letter

Here on your grave.

Voldemort killed you.

I'm living with that.

Maybe it's time

I help get him back.

Love, Remus.


	24. Friendship

**Disclaimer:** Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter belong to J.K. Rowling. But the only person mentioned in the poem is Voldemort! Funny how that works. Well, Voldemort's not mine either.

**Friendship**

People said a friendship like ours was stronger.

We knew it.

Nothing could end that inseperable bond,

Of friendship,

Of love.

We were brothers.

We were friends.

Voldemort sought to prove us wrong.

Tearing us apart.

He thinks he's won.

He hasn't.

Because even though he's tried so hard,

We're still friends.


	25. Thinking

Disclaimer: Remus Lupin, Hogwarts, the moon- it's all J.K. Rowling's. Except the moon, which probably belongs to someone else anyway.   
Author's Note: Yes, in honor of the full moon, I have written another poem. But I need to ask you, as my reviewers: are my poems starting to become repetitive? Because there's probably a limit on how much you can write about one subject. Tell me if I'm starting to get boring. My mind is wandering a bit more, and I've got other collections of poems. However, I want to know if I should continue updating Howling or just leave it with the 25 poems it has. 

**Thinking**

I hate the moon,

Then fear the moon,

Then don't know how to feel,

Since I saw the moon,

I watch the moon,

I've wondered if it was real.

But the pain that comes

Without the sun

Is surely no illusion,

What I would give,

To breathe and live

Without hate or confusion,

But the fate I own,

Is mine alone,

It is a part of me,

And sometimes I deem

That this would seem

To be my destiny.

The waxing moon,

It comes too soon.

I find it to be true,

That although I try

To live a lie,

There's nothing I can do.


	26. Letting Go

**Disclaimer:**

Words I may write that come and go,

But to shield myself from jurisdiction,

I will tell you what I know:

There's a reason it's called _fan _fiction.

**Author's Note: **

Sorrow and pain, worry and guilt,

We find these in the walls we have built

I'm not claiming these for myself,

Just telling you how Remus must have felt.

(Now, I'm not trying to pressure you,

But when you're done with this poem- review!)

**Letting Go**

I don't know what it was that made you first seem like true friends,

I don't know where the brotherhood began at friendship's end,

I didn't think your friendship was a gift; simply a loan,

And then I found, to my surprise, I wasn't all alone.

For my first ten years I didn't know what I was missing,

So when I found out suddenly I started listening,

And then I learned that life is short and far too quickly ends

To ease the passing of the time we must travel with friends.

Careful barriers I placed to block me from myself,

All those emotions I had were sitting on the shelf,

I was learning new things- you knew what I didn't know,

Sometimes we must leave ourselves because we're letting go.

Caution is a good thing, but sometime it must be done,

Because a large part of living life is having fun.

Through those years we carried on, and I had no regrets,

But the worst was yet to come- I haven't said it yet.

In quick strikes my life was torn to shreds- the threads were severed,

I could pick the pieces up, but they won't stay together,

Now it's still completely about managing my time,

But this time, my letting go is of a different kind.


	27. Sometimes

Disclaimer: You guessed it. Remus is not mine.   
Author's Note: How is it? Weird phrasing? Strange rhythm? Sounds like I was desperate for a rhyme? It's probably true, so go ahead and criticize. Or praise, if you so deem.   
Sometimes 

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I see

In my mind, what

The world would be

Were it without me.

Sometimes I think hard

And wonder if I

Have only brought pain

To innocent eyes.

Sometimes I try.

Sometimes I realize

I might be terse,

For it could be better,

I could be a curse-

Or it could be worse.


End file.
